thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
