in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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