i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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