Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
