Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
bring money and cleavage
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
