you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize