I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize