You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Drunk is not a location!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
