I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
