nut hugger
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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