I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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