she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
