Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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