yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
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pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
