So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just want to make out with him forever
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize