the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
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