Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
