11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
