Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize