The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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