Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
