I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
