It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
