Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
