Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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