May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
