As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
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DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
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Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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