4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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