Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She just used a chaser for red wine.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
