i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
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What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
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Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.