This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
