how can u be prego again
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Floor bacon is actually really good