Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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