went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Randomize