it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
