I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize