if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."