Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life