My brain says no but my pants say off.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You're breaking my sexual little heart
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
