real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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