No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
