So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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