You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
