That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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