sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
