weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't deserve a penis
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
