sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize