im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I need a beard to bite.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize