Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
