it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
