just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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