You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
