wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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