Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
