We named our party play list daddy issues
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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