ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
and she was petting her beer can
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
