sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
