fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
