I love black thongs
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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