So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
