I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
