bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
