return my video game
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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