i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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